This hits really close to home
I've posted several new links on my sidebar over the past couple of weeks. There's some good stuff out there and I like to shre.
There is one certain blog in particular that I am linking to - mainly because I think she is an incredible writer - but also because,(if this stuff she blogs about is 'really' happening in her life),it hits really close to mirroring what happened in my life (except my husband wasn't a professor having an affair with a college student) - but I did play the role of the wife that was on the blind, receiving end of things.
Part of this is my own morbid curiosity - I want to see what happens - so sue me *smirk*. Part of it is because,(and some of you might not believe this - those that know me will), I am worried for this young woman. It's none of my business, but I don't want to see her,(or the creep's wife for that matter), get hurt. And they will - we all know that they will.
Yes it takes two to tango - but to me this older guy is simply put - a creep who is preying on her. I am not saying this young woman isn't smart, I am not calling her a victim - she's a grown up now. But age gives you a bit more wisdom and clarity and somehow you know the things out there that you should stay away from (like having affairs with married men) - and again - this is not a judgement or an indictment - they can do what they want (and EVERYBODY apparently does from what my view of the world is) - however when it all comes crumbling/tumbing down around them, I wonder how they are REALLY going to feel and if the damage and pain they are going to inflict on one another is worth the thrill of this moment.
There is one certain blog in particular that I am linking to - mainly because I think she is an incredible writer - but also because,(if this stuff she blogs about is 'really' happening in her life),it hits really close to mirroring what happened in my life (except my husband wasn't a professor having an affair with a college student) - but I did play the role of the wife that was on the blind, receiving end of things.
Part of this is my own morbid curiosity - I want to see what happens - so sue me *smirk*. Part of it is because,(and some of you might not believe this - those that know me will), I am worried for this young woman. It's none of my business, but I don't want to see her,(or the creep's wife for that matter), get hurt. And they will - we all know that they will.
Yes it takes two to tango - but to me this older guy is simply put - a creep who is preying on her. I am not saying this young woman isn't smart, I am not calling her a victim - she's a grown up now. But age gives you a bit more wisdom and clarity and somehow you know the things out there that you should stay away from (like having affairs with married men) - and again - this is not a judgement or an indictment - they can do what they want (and EVERYBODY apparently does from what my view of the world is) - however when it all comes crumbling/tumbing down around them, I wonder how they are REALLY going to feel and if the damage and pain they are going to inflict on one another is worth the thrill of this moment.
posted by Colette at 11:26 AM
9 Comments:
Shalom Colette,
Tough call. After reading the most recent post I have to say, Jake, while having obviously (from her point-of-view) initiated the encounter, is most likely to be the one who gets burned and left lonely and rejected.
Perhaps it's her writing, but Ainsley seems very much in control.
At what point should we stop being paternal?
B’shalom,
Jeff
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Hi Colette,
I keep responding and then think better of it. I suppose it's best to not comment on my writing and leave you with your own intepretation. I'm glad my work interests you and that you find it relevent.
I enjoy your blog as well:)
-Ainsley
"One writes out of one thing only--one's own experience. Everything depends on how relentlessly one forces from the experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give."
~James Baldwin
Jeff,
As a parent - I can tell you without a doubt *I* never stop being paternal - it's also part of my make-up. As a fellow woman - I am just concerned and voicing that concern. As a former jilted ex-wife - well let's just say 'hell hath no fury' and I'd hate to see Ainsley on the receiving end of that fury (I mean my fury toward the little tramp that broke up our family knows no bounds) - but then again, Ainsley's lying in the bed she's helping to make as well...whatever goes with the territory I guess is what she deserves.
***********
Ainsley -
Thanks so much for commenting. I don't wish to insult you or demean you, that's not why I linked and wrote this post. I think you deserve better than some 'older' jerk trying to re-capture his youth. However, if you are using this as an exercise in writing - that's great - a bit cliche but great nonetheless.
It still remains - I thnk you are an amazing writer.
All my best to you my dear,
Colette
Given the fact that I know Jake and am Ainsley a lot of money to be defiled by Jake, his cousin Jensen, my cousin Jonathan and Jonathan's brother Kal, she gets what she deserves. If anyone is the victim it would be the wife of Jake who has been getting cold sores as a result of Kal's male lover who gave him Hep. C. To feel bad for Ainsley is nothing short of sad...I abhor your behavior here and say this "We reap what we sow." Let her rise up with fleas if she so chooses. - TR
Colette,
Thank you so much! The blog is a memoir so it's not in real time. Will I get what I deserve? Well, everyone will just have to wait and see since I haven't written that part yet. I like writing about cliched situations, but I hope it goes beyond the cliche and illuminates why we do these ridiculous mundane things. Or maybe it won't.
Jeff,
I wanted to say that while it *looks* like Ainsley is in control - looks are deceiving - especially when it comes to having an affair with a married person.
*********
To TR:
I have no idea what in the sam hell you are talking about...but c'est la vie, c'est la guerre, n'est ce pas?
Not surprising considering I don't really *know* the situation - at least not as well as YOU seem to - or at least as well as you CLAIM to know...
But that's OK - in the end our karma is our karma
*********
Ainsley -
Thanks for clearing all that up for me - I look forward to the unfolding of your story
warm regards,
Colette
Hello... interesting reading....
Affairs are complicated things, and the motives of all involved are also often complex. Sometimes it's a quest for a father figure, or to recapture lost youth, yet in other instances neither of those, or any other psychological profile, applies.
And it takes great maturity to be in control of an affair. Not an easy thing, given the range of emotions that the interaction can elicit.
check out the entries about Lucky Bastard on my blog...they'll give you a slightly different perspective on affairs....
Cordially,
Tish
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