DON'T EVER USE WEBDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Word of advice – the on-line dating site, ‘Webdate’ seriously sucks. The guys on there seem to be idiots (OK so I am finding a lot of the guys out there in general are idiots – just as I am sure a lot of the women out there are bitches – no, I am not trying to make blanket statements but I am telling you a lot of people doing this dating things are really a couple fries short of a happy meal).
Two stories:
Out of the blue one guy I talked with previously on there called me – left me a msg on my cell – which when we were chatting before I had given him – nothing came of our previous ‘talking’ so I never thought of him again….so as I said out of the blue I get this msg to call him. So I call him – we have a brief but very eye opening conversation about how he is looking for someone ‘proper’ to be with how he wants a woman with good ‘Christian’ values because he is still raising his kids etc. I am thinking to myself: when did people suddenly decide that this is good phone conversation and why not put that on your profile because then I’d know to avoid you. Having ‘Christian’ values is a GOOD THING but when you start expecting me to turn into Donna Reed and never say the word fuck again – well that’s ain’t gonna happen. (and yes he used the term ‘potty mouth’) – what kills me about people like this who want everything to be just so, and perfect and don’t want to expose their kids to bad language, or bad movies or bad music is that ultimately in the ‘real’ world it’s going to backfire on them – and I can attest to this personally with my own kids. Secondly if you are looking for a ‘Sunday-go-to-meetin’ kind of girl shouldn’t you find her at your local church????
So I tell this guy maybe we can chat a little later. Things get hectic and one morning we decide to try chatting on line and I tell him about my concerns because I am not a ‘Christian’ and I say that since he feels that this is so important is it really a good idea for us to talk….he says that as long as I am not going to try to ‘convert him’ (convert him???? To what??? Sanity??? It’s more like he’s going to try to convert me) we can certainly try to see each other – perhaps see where it goes or until we find someone more to our ‘liking’ – to me what this indicates is that he just wants to ‘hook up’ which I am not into – but I tell him we can certainly talk maybe go get some coffee. OK so this was last week. Now this week I have been super busy. I am going out of town for work at the end of the week; I am getting the Yoga studio in order and trying to build up classes. He had added me to hi IM ‘friends’ on Yahoo on Monday and I saw this and added him. Then yesterday he sends me an off-line IM msg that says “hmmmm you added me but you didn’t talk to me – should I take you off my list?”
WTF??????????????????
So last night after I get home from a mtg with a perspective Yoga client and birthday dinner with my son and his dad – I get on line to check e-mail – I see this guy is on line so I start talking to him. I said something about wanting to go get coffee and he starts chastising me for being too busy – he also says that he has not answered any of my e-mails because *HE* feels I am too busy (yeah OK can we say spoilt brat? Just what I need, a replacement for my good-for-nothing ex husband – who was also threatened by my having a life and building a future business). By now I’ve had it – I basically told him that I don’t appreciate being vaguely threatened to be ‘removed’ from someone’s chat list, that HE was the one who called me out of the blue and that if he can’t deal with a busy professional woman who has also just started her own business that maybe he needs to find some barefoot and pregnant chick to date. I told him ‘pouting and stomping of feet’ on a man isn’t attractive and I signed off.. I wanted to tell him to go fuck off but then I might have hurt his virgin ears. GEEZ!
Story #2 – was already hinted at in one of my last posts….
When I post my ‘profile’ I am first of all pretty up front about how I am – yes it might be MY perception but nonetheless I don’t sugar coat myself. Here’s an example:
“I am an attractive, intelligent woman looking for signs of intelligent life. I am fun and I have many varied interests. I like to travel, I like culture, the arts, music and good literature. I love going out on the town or staying at home and watching movies or just hanging out. I love great conversation and I feel it is a dying art. I am an avid reader and NOT into being a couch potato (unless we are snuggling). I teach and study Yoga (I have been studying now for over 17 years) and I work in the health care field. I am compassionate and caring and would like to be with someone who has similar interests, and qualities. The most important qualities to me are honesty, integrity, kindness and intelligence. My spiritual side is very important to me, but I am not overly religious.
Looking for a way to begin a great friendship (because I feel/think that should be the foundation of any great relationship) and, if the connection is right - then we'd begin a special relationship (translation: let's just go slow).
Looking for someone who is tolerant and can hold up their end of the conversation. Someone who is willing to and able to discuss issues and have thought-provoking conversation; someone who is not afraid of a fiery, strong-spirited woman.
Looking for someone who is as comfortable going out to the theatre, symphony, plays and the museums as they are going camping, hiking and just plain staying at home; someone who wants all the joys, laughter and even the sadness/mediocrity life has to offer.”
OK – now what would cause anyone to write to me just to ‘taunt’ me? If you are not interested in me don’t write to me and complain that I am ‘fiery’ or ‘strong-spirited’ – seriously I don’t need your opinion – especially when half the time the guys that come forward to talk to me have profiles that read like obituaries - and that's only WHEN they decide to get off of their lazy asses TO post anything.
So when this guy began harassing me I reported him – to no avail. The people who run the site are apparently asleep at the wheel
So now I am going to give up on yet another site (already gave up on Yahoo personals cause that sucks even more). Not sure at this point what to do. YES! I AM BUSY! So sue me. It’s why I do the ‘on-line’ thing in the first place and since I can’t/won’t date Yoga students (not a single comment tout of you C2) – not to mention that I typically don't get guy students…I mean what’s a girl to do? I won’t go to bars to meet other guys – it’s never going to work doing that. Mr. C suggested just hanging out in a book store/shoppe and get some coffee and try to start up conversations that way – I don't know sashay up to some unsuspecting magazine reader and offer him my phone number after mumbling some sort of introduction...hmm not sure I can pull this off.
And I don’t mean to constantly berate this process – it just seems hopeless and fraught with broken people who are looking for someone else to fix them and yes it's occurred to me that I might fall into that category – I am definitely amongst the walking wounded – but I'd like to think I am also worthy of better than this crap out there...
So if ‘Webdate’ ever needs a spokes-person they’d better not come knocking on my door.
Two stories:
Out of the blue one guy I talked with previously on there called me – left me a msg on my cell – which when we were chatting before I had given him – nothing came of our previous ‘talking’ so I never thought of him again….so as I said out of the blue I get this msg to call him. So I call him – we have a brief but very eye opening conversation about how he is looking for someone ‘proper’ to be with how he wants a woman with good ‘Christian’ values because he is still raising his kids etc. I am thinking to myself: when did people suddenly decide that this is good phone conversation and why not put that on your profile because then I’d know to avoid you. Having ‘Christian’ values is a GOOD THING but when you start expecting me to turn into Donna Reed and never say the word fuck again – well that’s ain’t gonna happen. (and yes he used the term ‘potty mouth’) – what kills me about people like this who want everything to be just so, and perfect and don’t want to expose their kids to bad language, or bad movies or bad music is that ultimately in the ‘real’ world it’s going to backfire on them – and I can attest to this personally with my own kids. Secondly if you are looking for a ‘Sunday-go-to-meetin’ kind of girl shouldn’t you find her at your local church????
So I tell this guy maybe we can chat a little later. Things get hectic and one morning we decide to try chatting on line and I tell him about my concerns because I am not a ‘Christian’ and I say that since he feels that this is so important is it really a good idea for us to talk….he says that as long as I am not going to try to ‘convert him’ (convert him???? To what??? Sanity??? It’s more like he’s going to try to convert me) we can certainly try to see each other – perhaps see where it goes or until we find someone more to our ‘liking’ – to me what this indicates is that he just wants to ‘hook up’ which I am not into – but I tell him we can certainly talk maybe go get some coffee. OK so this was last week. Now this week I have been super busy. I am going out of town for work at the end of the week; I am getting the Yoga studio in order and trying to build up classes. He had added me to hi IM ‘friends’ on Yahoo on Monday and I saw this and added him. Then yesterday he sends me an off-line IM msg that says “hmmmm you added me but you didn’t talk to me – should I take you off my list?”
WTF??????????????????
So last night after I get home from a mtg with a perspective Yoga client and birthday dinner with my son and his dad – I get on line to check e-mail – I see this guy is on line so I start talking to him. I said something about wanting to go get coffee and he starts chastising me for being too busy – he also says that he has not answered any of my e-mails because *HE* feels I am too busy (yeah OK can we say spoilt brat? Just what I need, a replacement for my good-for-nothing ex husband – who was also threatened by my having a life and building a future business). By now I’ve had it – I basically told him that I don’t appreciate being vaguely threatened to be ‘removed’ from someone’s chat list, that HE was the one who called me out of the blue and that if he can’t deal with a busy professional woman who has also just started her own business that maybe he needs to find some barefoot and pregnant chick to date. I told him ‘pouting and stomping of feet’ on a man isn’t attractive and I signed off.. I wanted to tell him to go fuck off but then I might have hurt his virgin ears. GEEZ!
Story #2 – was already hinted at in one of my last posts….
When I post my ‘profile’ I am first of all pretty up front about how I am – yes it might be MY perception but nonetheless I don’t sugar coat myself. Here’s an example:
“I am an attractive, intelligent woman looking for signs of intelligent life. I am fun and I have many varied interests. I like to travel, I like culture, the arts, music and good literature. I love going out on the town or staying at home and watching movies or just hanging out. I love great conversation and I feel it is a dying art. I am an avid reader and NOT into being a couch potato (unless we are snuggling). I teach and study Yoga (I have been studying now for over 17 years) and I work in the health care field. I am compassionate and caring and would like to be with someone who has similar interests, and qualities. The most important qualities to me are honesty, integrity, kindness and intelligence. My spiritual side is very important to me, but I am not overly religious.
Looking for a way to begin a great friendship (because I feel/think that should be the foundation of any great relationship) and, if the connection is right - then we'd begin a special relationship (translation: let's just go slow).
Looking for someone who is tolerant and can hold up their end of the conversation. Someone who is willing to and able to discuss issues and have thought-provoking conversation; someone who is not afraid of a fiery, strong-spirited woman.
Looking for someone who is as comfortable going out to the theatre, symphony, plays and the museums as they are going camping, hiking and just plain staying at home; someone who wants all the joys, laughter and even the sadness/mediocrity life has to offer.”
OK – now what would cause anyone to write to me just to ‘taunt’ me? If you are not interested in me don’t write to me and complain that I am ‘fiery’ or ‘strong-spirited’ – seriously I don’t need your opinion – especially when half the time the guys that come forward to talk to me have profiles that read like obituaries - and that's only WHEN they decide to get off of their lazy asses TO post anything.
So when this guy began harassing me I reported him – to no avail. The people who run the site are apparently asleep at the wheel
So now I am going to give up on yet another site (already gave up on Yahoo personals cause that sucks even more). Not sure at this point what to do. YES! I AM BUSY! So sue me. It’s why I do the ‘on-line’ thing in the first place and since I can’t/won’t date Yoga students (not a single comment tout of you C2) – not to mention that I typically don't get guy students…I mean what’s a girl to do? I won’t go to bars to meet other guys – it’s never going to work doing that. Mr. C suggested just hanging out in a book store/shoppe and get some coffee and try to start up conversations that way – I don't know sashay up to some unsuspecting magazine reader and offer him my phone number after mumbling some sort of introduction...hmm not sure I can pull this off.
And I don’t mean to constantly berate this process – it just seems hopeless and fraught with broken people who are looking for someone else to fix them and yes it's occurred to me that I might fall into that category – I am definitely amongst the walking wounded – but I'd like to think I am also worthy of better than this crap out there...
So if ‘Webdate’ ever needs a spokes-person they’d better not come knocking on my door.
posted by Colette at 10:38 AM
1 Comments:
Look - for the LAST time - dating students, no matter what it is you are teaching, is WRONG. Dating other teachers - now that's OK. But the rule is if you are attracted to a student you should either hold off until they are NOT your student or barring that you should ask them to take another teacher's class.
I WON'T DATE A STUDENT. It's unethical!!! Even if I didn't have such strong feelings, C@ - I don't really get a lot of guys in my OWN studio - I do at work - but I am not about to date a student I teach through my real job - that's only going to cause even more headaches.
Bottom line: It's a no-no
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